I'll Be What I Am

Twisted in this dog-eat-dog world
Fate declared, life decided
Pressure to be the best in everything you do
It's hard living. You can't deny it.

So I'm sorry.
I am what I am.
You can't make me what I'm not
But then again, maybe I'm not the problem.

Maybe you should take a look in the mirror
Before you start judging me
Take your heartless soul away
And let mine be unique.

I may not be perfect,
But I'm always myself.
I'm perfectly me
And nobody else.

So thank you
For making me stronger
And helping me to not be blind
To all your pathetic lies.

Try it again, I dare you.
Use me, wrap me around your finger.
See if I let you.
I promise you won't succeed.




-------------------



This was written by me and an old friend...............

The Illusion of Perfection

The perfect girl
No one sees her pain
The way she bottles it up inside
She'll most likely go insane.

She has alsmot everything she could want
There's not much else she poosibly needs
But how could she feel so unhappy
In the perfect life she leads?

She has all the material things
She can even get the guys
But she's searching for internal happiness
In this perfected life of lies.

If people only knew
The thoughts that go through her head
Maybe they'd reach out to this girl
Before she ends up dead.

Luckily she's afraid of death
The thought of never waking up again
Hopefully this fear'll stay with her
So her life doesn't come to an end.

Everyone sees the small things
But they don't make the connection
If they were to look at the big picture
They'd see it's all an illusion of perfection.

Thing's I'll Never Say

It's way to late and you don't care
Somehow I smile and run a hand through my hair.
I wish things didn't turn out this way,
But you don't care...So what can I say?

You always pretend to listen, but you never really see.
Can't you read what's obviously
Written on my face as you come near
You must not care, or you'd be here..

Can't you hear it in my words,
Hidden clues but you've never heard
Can't you feel the goose bumps on my skin?
My heart was always yours to win.

Can't you see it on my face?
The wrinkles and worry lines carved into place.
The confusion, the hope, the despair?
No it's obvious...you'll never care..

But why can't I stop thinking of you,
And why can't I forget whets through?
It's over and done and you don't understand.
All I want....is to hold your hand.

I'll reread this until we meet again,
Think of your face and what I can't win
But somehow all my pain inside
Is gone when I see your smile.

Until I get home and then it shows,
On my face, you'll never know.
I lie to cover the pain of you,
And I can't believe you think that's the truth.

Please kiss me and make my hurt go away.
But you won't, so my pan will stay
Hurt by you, yet I still adore,
The guy who's got me at an internal war.

Casualty of love, that's me.
But I'd do it all again just to be
Feeling what i feel and dreaming what i dream,
But you'll never see what you mean to me.




----------



Just anohther personal experience..

Oh Well

I would say you were a waste of my time... but you weren't..
I would say I never liked you...but i do....
I would say I hated you...but i don't..
I would say I can't forgive you...but i'm not going to lie...
I would say you were the best thing for me...but you weren't...
I would say i've moved on...but i haven't..
I would say that i'm never going to talk to you again...but hey, you never know...
I would say that you never cared about me...but i think you maybe did..
I would say hammer me...but i'd never say that...
I would tell you that you didn't break my heart...but you did....
I would tell you that i never liked you...but i felt more than love toward you, i thought....
I would say bye..but that could mean forever.....
I would tell you to leave me alone...but I still care.......
I would have done anything in the world for you...but forget that.....
I would tell you this to your face...but if i was you i wouldn't come around my house for awhile....
I would try to talk this out...but i know it'd just amke things worse for me....
I would you must hate me to have done this... but I don't wanna hear your reaction.....
I would like to have you back...but OH WELL......

Your Loss

You told me you cared about me
I guess you lied....
Because the last thing i heard you say
Was ''Ok, good bye''
I meant what i said
All those times
But you played with me
Played with my mind
I guess i was blind
I thought i could trust you
But you screwed me over every time
I thought you had changed
I believed it with all of my heart...
I blew off my friends,
Told them your intentions were true
I guess it was me who never knew
I hate you'll never know what it's like to have the world..
I would have given you that
And so much more..
Oh well
To bad
I'm hoping I'll be fine without you....
One of these days you're going to find out you miss me,
Then you'll realize how bad you played me
It's to bad for you
You're too late....
I've slammed the door to my heart,
And locked the gate
There's no way I'm letting you back in
No way i'm letting you do this to me again...
Sorry,
It's your loss....

Now He'll Never Know

Now He'll Never Know



I watch him walk away,
I wish I would've stopped him,
So that I could've told him.
Because now he'll never know.
He'll never know my heartache,
He'll never know my pain.
He'll never know the reason.
Why it'll be hard for me to love again.
He'll never know I loved him.
He'll never hear me cry.
He'll never know what wasn't said,
Behind our last goodbye.
He'll never know what hurt me
He'll never see the tears.
He'll never know of my hearts scars
That had been mended and re-torn throughout the year
I know it's my fault I didn't tell.
I should've never let him go.
I should've said I love you,
Because now he'll never know.

You Said That You Loved Me

You Said That You Loved Me



I know you said you loved me,
I know you said that you care.
But sometimes you just walk past me,
As if I'm not even there.


You say to you, I'm a special girl.
That I'm your only in this world.
I've already heard and seen it.
I know you say you love me,
But do you really mean it?


I wish everyday when you talk to me,
I'd know exactly what to say,
But all the words in the world couldn't explain,
The way i fell about you every day.


This all ends up in depression,
To my hurt and my upset,
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night,
Thinking about the things I'll never get.


You said you loved me.
But, your with her.
It doesn't make sense.
Doesn't it make you wonder.
Why i acting so intense.


I've been told so many times,
that I'm loved and that people care,
But the only guy that matters is you,
And you're not even there.

His Love

His Love


His love was all I ever really needed to breath this world.
The thought of his warm embrace made me feel like I really belonged.
He said to him, I wasn't just another girl
I was special.
But the pain of his emptiness leaves me lonely now, and now I realize I should've been by his side all along.
I wish I could've told him how I was really feeling inside about him.
He said he loved me, and I wish I would've said it back to him, looking him in those sparkling eyes.
His smile always made my heart skip a beat, and warmed my soul from within.
And being away from him is like not being able to live life.
And now he's slipped away.
And saying 'I love you' now would be totally meaningless.
I guess he just didn't feel like he said.
He stole my heart, and willingly handed it back to me, in tiny little pieces.
His love was all I needed to live this life, and now that he is gone,
I wish I would've told him I loved him.
And I regret it everyday.




---------------------------------------



NOt my best work.... Really just me venting...............

Never

Never



Never say "I love you,"
If you don't really care..
Never talk about feelings,
If they're not really there...
Never hold my hand,
If you're gonna break my heart...
Never say you are going to,
If you don't plan to start...
Never look me directly in the eyes,
If all you're gonna do is lie...
Never say hi,
If you really mean goodbye...
If you really mean forever,
Then say you will try...
But never say forever,
Because forever is normally a lie...




--------------------------------------------



Another old one.................

Forget Him

Forget Him


Forget him..
Forget his name, forget his face...
Forget his kiss,
His warm embrace...
Forget the care kindness you once knew,
Remember, he has someone new...
Forget him when you hear your song,
Remember when you cried all night long...
Forget how close you were,
Remember he has chosen her...
Forget you memorized his walk,
Forget how he used to talk,
Forget the things he used to say,
Remember that he's gone away...
Forget his laugh, forget his grin...
Forget the dimples in his chin,
Forget the way he held you tight,
Remember he's with her tonight...
Forget the time that went so fast,
Forget the like that moved its past...
Forget he said he'd leave you never,
Remember that he's gone forever...




------------------------------------



Another one of my old ones.... Also written about Brody even though no one really knows that, until now.. everybody thought it was about this other guy.....

I'm Glad There's You

I'm Glad There's You

I'm glad there's you to smile at me and brighten up my day,
To share my thoughts and understand the things i do and say.
I'm glad there's you to laugh with me at ordinary things,
To show me what is special in everything life brings.
I'm glad there's you to be with and I think you know its true,
How happy you have made me and how glad i am there's you..


----------------------------------------


So this was one of my very first poems I started showing everyone... It was actually written for Brody, or Bob*, when we were dating.......